Nov 17th, 2008- Day 7!!

I am going through a lot of different sorts of emotions.. today is an anger day i figured. I can't help it but be so frustrated with the society we live in. On my way to the kitchen today i glanced at the tv (which is always on at my house because of my siblings) and i saw a cake commercial.. i got so angry which now sounds funny, but why would we make each other suffer like this? The answer is that its probably without intention (to some point) but there has to be a beginning to this cruelty, someone that knows it but still puts it in motion to make money on peoples suffrage. And my mom. The person I love the most in this world.. How can she still eat like this when she knows she can't afford it with her health? Sadly I think I know how.. its the same mentality as I have when I absolutely cannot stop myself from indulging in the sweet taste of chocolate, or the heavenly ice cream. I am so angry at myself for loving those foods so much; foods that make me so happy when they are there, and at the same time so depressed when my body reflects what I ate. I hope to gain from this fast freedom from my addictions to those sad foods. I hope that my impulsive eating will stop, at least just a little. Because when I grab that chocolate bar and eat it, there is no stopping it..

Day 3- Nov 13

Becoming more and more in touch with my mind and body I wonder, why are people so close minded? Everyone is a part of some culture so am I? Just because I was raised in Poland with a dad that would kill both me and my boyfriend if he was black, does that mean I have to feel the same way? The world we live in is so advanced and has so many resources we gain knoweladge from, shouldn't we know that just because we survived on what we know, it doesn't mean what we know is the only right thing in this world? Everyone survives, which for a rational person would lead to a conclusion that states: everyones believes, traditions and overall culture is right! Why do we than make fun of people that practice certain rituals that are rare in this country of even speak a little different?
I also noticed that most people we meet everyday are not very happy all the time. They might have happy moments but (noticing from my own experience) if most people meet someone that is always happy and excited, they are automatically weird?
I cried today. It was an amazing experience because it was full of all kinds of emotions and spirituality. I was reading about juice fasting and I couldn't help but feel the pain and the experiences of Mr. Tom McGregor while he became closer to God and also himself. I feel so pure I cannot imagine the days to come. Its only day three and I feel like I've already achieved greatness. What is really odd is that I haven't done anything for the past two days but ponder. Because of my cold and my tounge being so swollen because of the piercing, I've experienced a lot of pain and discomfort. And yet, my mind was able to overlook those obstacles and focus on rejuvenation and tranquility. I am becoming very eager for the gifts this fast has to offer and I am so thankful to God for seeing me worthy enough to receive them.

Day 2- Nov 12

Today is day two of my juice fast. I decided to be really committed to this and that is why I made this blog. So this way I have to keep going and remind myself every day of the benefits. My timing is a little bad because I felt so in power yesterday about starting my 50 day juice fast that I decided to do what I wanted for a long time but was always too afraid to do it.. I pierced my tounge! and it is sooo swollen right now I can't even talk. And on top of that I am sick for the past week and it won't go away! But hopefully everything will turn out amazing (i know it will) :) . At first I wasn't going to do a juice fast but a green smoothie fest.. because my juicer is not the greatest juicer out there! but than my best friend Sandy (who is doing the 50 day fast with me) told me that i can just juice fruit and vegetables and but a green powder instead of juicing greens so it worked out perfectly! I have to say I would never been able to do this without her! First of all, she's the one that introduced me to raw vegan lifestyle when she found out about it and having someone there that does not criticize you every step of the way is amazing! Most of my family and friends do not approve of this "diet" what so ever.. (its not a diet, its a natural lifestyle!). And I am not telling my family or anyone else about doing the juice fast because they are going to go insane and try to hospitalize me! I am not even over exaggerating! haha. just like I am not telling them about my tounge ring right now.. I will in a couple of days when the swelling goes down so they don't freak out!. Why can't everyone be more open minded? Life is so short everyone should do what makes them happy (of course it can't harm anyone else). I know my family and friends have their best interest at heart but I know what I am doing is right (or at least I truly believe it is!)